ETFs Unbound—-How About DICE, CRZY and EUCL!

By Tyler Durden at ZeroHedge

FHLH will allow investors to participate in only the first hour and last hour of NYSE trading. This is a truly exciting and innovative product as it allows investors to capture the tension of the opening bell and the dramatic closes. It goes without saying that we will shortly be adding Inverse funds and 2x and 3x leveraged versions.

EUCL will provide the opportunity to trade U.S. stocks only for the hour surrounding the European close. With heightened volatility around that time it lets investors watch their portfolios only during lunch hour. Again, the 2x and 3x leveraged versions will bring an even greater level of customization for those customers who want to trade the European close without the capital to do it leveraged on their own.

CRZY is designed to satisfy the need for a arcane complex product that captures the zeitgeist of the moment. Currently CRZY will go long of the spread between Brent Crude and Gold for Shanghai deliver quanto’d into yen on a 2.5 daily leverage. STPD will be the inverse version of the same trade. CRZY and STPD will reset their investment guidelines on a monthly basis to a new vaguely correlated trade that makes some degree of sense based on word cloud searches from the financial headlines.

Finally DICE is designed to finally allow investors disgruntled about the stock market. Each morning at approximately 9:20 , Bob Barker of Price is Right Fame, will roll a specially made die. Each of buy, sell and hold will have 2 sides of the die and the portfolio will be adjusted on the open based on the dice roll (the leveraged version, waiting final SEC approval will use 3 dice and be based on the combined outcome – the SEC is concerned we are misrepresent it as a leveraged fund when in fact it might not be leveraged on any particular day but we believe we can get overcome this obstacle).

I feel better after that rant (these are obviously not real funds and not meant to represent real funds in any way).

Ranting aside, I’ve been struggling with the impact some very esoteric funds might be having in the market. I’ve also been struggling with the concept that some esoteric funds are attracting more capital than some basic mutual fund strategies.

I’m not sure what it means and maybe after 5 weeks of grinding higher on little volume with minimal volatility I’m just angry – especially as that now seems to be the forecast going forward. But I cannot shake my fixation that some complex funds are impacting markets in ways we haven’t thought about – and that tends not to end well.

Source: ‘Exciting’ New ETF Launches – EUCL, CRZY, STPD & More… – ZeroHedge